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PDY blog for April 22, 2005

THE DELETERIOUS EFFECTS OF ELEPHANT GAS

    The Following was sent to me by Tom Brown, a distinguished member of my 1959 Erwin High School Class. Our teachers there would be amazed that we know how to spell deleterious, by the way. Tom now lives and works in Cheyenne, Wyoming, but as you will read he hasn’t lost his good old Tar Heel wit and common sense. Would that I could say the same for the multitudes of right wing robots around us who are hell-bent on voting against their own best interests no matter what the facts are.

    Perry: As I sit here and contemplate the troubles in the country today, I have finally figured out what has gone wrong. It is the Elephant Gas. We have been taught all our lives that the ecology is in a delicate balance and that any changes we make could have over whelming effects. The elephant is indigenous to India and Africa. Both third world areas, not that it is the fault of the people. They just had the poor luck of being born in the presence of the elephant, whereas we imported the big stupid beast.

    In India and Africa the leaders ride on top away from the fumes and with a lackey leading the great stupid beast. They both feel this is the way to go. It is the people at the rear and on ground level that have the most trouble. As this great beast moves along it devours everything green in it’s path and at the same time passes unbelievable amounts of really dangerous Elephant Gas and prodigious piles of dung behind. This is also giving off fumes that are deleterious to the human mind which also is passed onto the next generation in the form of a mind that is so weak that it also feels that the king should ride above the stink and mess of his method of transportation, and to think that he is always correct in his decisions.

    We allowed this animal to be imported into this country without looking to see what this would do to the people and country. Now we have great masses of people who have had their brains contaminated for so long they are starting to think the same as the people of India and Africa, that living in a third world country, and worshiping the king with lavish gifts and great power is the proper way to live. The prime example is the congress. These so called leaders of our country have moved into the direct blast of all this Elephant Gas, and are acting the same as the lesser leaders of India and Africa, by giving the king what he wants as he is the all knowing, all seeing king, who never tells a lie nor makes a mistake and all that he does is good for the country and the people.

    Meanwhile the masses are walking along behind in the fumes thinking what a really smart man the king is, and because he says he talks to God, and he is God’s own emissary, they just know he is correct and moral. To make the whole thing work better the king has bunches of stooges, (TV, Rush Limburger and Lying Bill O’Reilly) running along behind covering the truth with toxic Elephant dung, in the form of propaganda, which his followers are all ready to believe because of their weakened state of mind. The only trouble is , the truth is like a dandelion, the more you try to kill it the better it survives and eventually the working people will realize this, probably after it is too late.

    The one thing to remember is: if a republican is talking and you suddenly start to think he is making sense, please move away from him as he is contaminated and toxic, and already starting to affect your own common sense. Please send this to whomever you think needs to know about the deleterious effects of Elephant Gas.

-o-

KEEP TOM DELAY

    My cousin Tom Hunnicutt said it first, but now you can read it in an Our Town piece in the current New Yorker by Hendrik Hertzberg: Tom DeLay is the best thing that’s happened to the Democratic Party in years. If we can just keep this lying, thieving scoundrel in office for another year, we’ll have no trouble re-taking his seat and many others seized by GOP deceit in past elections.

-o-

    One of my closest pals here in Chapel Hill is not the least bit surprised by the controversy surrounding the obnoxious John Bolton, Shrub’s weird choice for UN ambassador. This awful man would completely destroy whatever effectiveness we might ever have had in the UN, and maybe that’s ol’ Shrub’s intention. My pal shall remain nameless because I don’t want Shrub’s Gestapo to haul him away before he can buy me another beer [5:30 tonight at the Dead Mule]. But my pal says Bolton’s character was set at a very early age. The two were in eighth grade military school together, where Bolton was already an ugly, arrogant little martinet strutting around in his “captain’s” uniform, squawking praises for the Vietnam war he would somehow never get to serve in. He also had the “worst case of acne I’ve ever seen” and “I don’t think he ever had a date; I never saw him with a girl.” There’s a lesson here: pay attention to these ugly teenagers. They will grow up to get their revenge on the rest of us.

-o-

    Am I the only American who recalls George Bush’s campaign pledge that under his administration we would never have exorbitant prices at the gas pump? “I know the oil business; I know these people, I can talk with them.” Now we know who’s really to blame; next time you pay $2.50 or $3 a gallon, thank George.

-o-

    For too long, we Democrats in North Carolina have been electing candidates who get to Washington and vote with the Republicans. After reading that Rep. David Price was one of 73 Democrats who sided with the Republicans on the disgraceful bankruptcy bill, I sent the following letter to Price and our local newspapers. It was published in the Raleigh News & Observer and the Chapel Hill Herald.

    Dear Editor: As a progressive Democrat in a like-minded district, I have held my nose and voted for David Price for the last time. Price has aligned himself with the Republicans whose only purpose in life seems to be to rob poor working people and reward their lazy rich friends and supporters. Price’s vote in favor of the disgraceful bankruptcy law was the last straw. It is high time for him to do the honorable thing and announce he will not run again—so that a progressive candidate like Chapel Hill mayor Kevin Foy can get elected and represent us the way we deserve to be represented.

-o-

    For too many years, I have been slightly misquoting John Kenneth Galbraith’s eloquent definition of conservatism. I am grateful to Molly Ivins for getting it right in a recent column:

    "The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness."

-o-

     In his always brilliant column in the New York Times, Bob Herbert recently recalled these lines from the late great Franklin Delano Roosevelt: “The test of our progress," said Roosevelt, "is not whether we add more to the abundance of those who have much; it is whether we provide enough for those who have too little." The question to ponder is how in the world we ever got from that kind of humanitarianism to the unspeakable selfishness we are ruled by now.



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